. is all i got

ok, what you’re about to see requires real patience to even read em..hhehe. So here goes.

it was a film by Kit Ong, organised by THINK. rm10 per entry.8pm. HELP Uni College,Theatrette.

this was the synopsis:
The Flowers Beneath My Skin is Malaysia’s first ever silent
film. It is about a spirit that haunts an apartment, where the
occupants are into foot-binding, castration, and skin peeling. The
spirit observes their daily ritual. This is not a horror film, and the
spirit is not frightening. But the people staying in the apartment are.

We were so excited about the whole local silent film thing that we (well, I) started posing!!

we had this…

this…

and even…

THIS!!

so you could imagine how excited we (I) was for the whole woo haa~

According to the website, we were to get musicanteen’s merchandise and MUSE’s latest album if we were the first 25 person to arrive before 8pm. So I being the MUSE fan wannabe~ obviously i wanted the cd as much as everyone who wanted to be a coolio wannabe. so yea, the girls and i drop our bums in Secret Receipe for something light (not for tsemei though) and head over to the Theatrette at 730pm hoping to get the cd, i mean, who cares about the merchandise when you can get MUSE?? innit??

So when we got there, people started to fill up the place already. i had my fingers crossed hoping to get my hands on the cd. Got to the tic counter, Rayson chopped our hands with a rubber stamp and said "ahh, after parents ask why you all go clubing" loike we were…erm… "hahah…yea…"

*we were given a paper bag (thought it was the goodies) but  it was just this…. 

*a softoy for the car, 2 more brains to squeeze, the program, and a promo card from THINK.

hung around a lil while and the doors were finally open and we were allowed to get in. Met up with Kenneth and friends…


(left to right) Tammy, who looks really excited, Jun, seriously shy student exchange from Jap that Kenneth’s hosting, with his slumbery face and tsemei, who’s soo excited like me that she fell asleep while taking the pic.

oh, and me n binx

First it was Pete Teo who came on stage, who is he? well, i’m not very sure myself, apparently he’s kinda famous in the local scene. All i knew was that he has air-ry voice,talks like he’s high on weed, shakes his feet like its gonna fall off, and is a combination of Damien Rice and James Blunt.

*pete teo about to swing his feet away from his leg…*

so yea, then the emcee came on and introduce the band Ciplak. i was like expecting three cool dudes coming on stage but what we actually got was this…

three grown guys dressed in pandu putri uniforms…

they were not exactly cool as you can see. prolly they wanna feel artsy fartsy as well….
And the film started…. the music (more like sound that jo told me we could be famous as well for playing that kinda sound) was creepy during the start, but then it went from excited sheila, to oh-whats-going-on sheila, to tapping-finger-on-the-head jo, to loose-screws-up-on-KitOng’s-head,to why-is-she-cutting-off-his-"ahem" and lastly….we were this….

*shleepy people*

it was soooooooo draggy!!! nothing made sense…the show was basically sick to me, we had a girl who’s obsessed of cutting off things, including her bf/bro’s *tweety*, mother and daughter who are so in love with each other they look like disgusting-lesbos tocuhing each other’s feet, and the spirit (main actress) who was flirting with some random old fart on the wall. They must have had too must estrogens!! urgh~

I mean, yea, i’m into indie films and all, seen international ones, love em, but this was just overlly done. Probably i’m not the true indie film wannabe but i think it was too artsy fartsy for me…
the whole show didnt made any sense, there was no beginning, no end, no plot, no climax, and NO MORAL OF THE STORY! why was the film made? i mean like why would Kit Ong do sucha film? i totally digged the black and white shots but seriously, only watched it if you’re really into artsy fartsy kinda stuffs… this was obviously too much for me to handle…but it was an experience  never the less…  THANKS FOR THE COMPANY PEOPLE!!! eheheheheh!!!!!

oh, and Tammy was the 25th person to get the merchandise from musicanteen, and the cd wasn’t MUSE, it was some ciplang cd, with crazy frog and such! URGH, WE WERE CON!!!!!

***
oh, by the way….i’m currently reading this book…

its call Sophie’s world, a novel of the history of philosophy

coolio innit?? hehehhe..yea…makes you ponder on every sentence, i’m taking ages to finish this book since i started last Sunday…

p/s: sorwie about the pictures…they’re either too blur, too small, or too ugly…we didnt wanna flash anyone…hahahhah

it wasn’t hard recognizing you…
you stood out from the crowd immediately as i lay my eyes in the hall
you seem busy so we kept silent, as if strangers
like always…

we came and did what we needed to accomplish
i tried to ignore it, hoping it would pass in a while
it went on the whole night…followed by another sleepless night once again.

i wanna move on…

putting down my hopes was the only thing i could do,
because, as we know…
it will never occur… this…
i stayed up in the night, wondering what an awkward moment it must have been for the both of us.
and what a fool i was to even have hope in this…

i want this no more…

the room is bigger today…
there is nothing of hers, but of mine
it does seem strange knowing that i would not see her bashing into the door again.
apart of me seems content with the amount of space
but the other is of missing.

coming back to no one to bitch about things is sad indeed.
realizing i depended on her all the time.
like i had another sister…

she will be missed..
yin chen, thanks for all the help!
all the best in finding the right job!
*hugs

cheers to friendship!!

it’s late and i’m feeling so tired,
having trouble sleeping.
this constant compromise between thinking and breathing.
could it be i’m suffering because i’ll never give in?
won’t say that i’m falling in love.
tell me i don’t seem myself.
couldn’t i blame something else?
just don’t say i’m falling in love.

some kind of therapy is all i need
please believe me.
some instant remedy that can cure me completely.
could it be i’m suffering because i’ll never give in?
won’t say that i’m falling in love.
tell me i don’t seem myself,
couldn’t i blame something else?
just don’t say i’m falling in love.

cause i’ve been there before and it’s not enough.
so nobody say,
don’t even say it.
i’ve got my eyes shut,
won’t look,
oh,
no i’m not in love.
could it be i’m suffering because i’ll never give in,
don’t say that i’m falling in love…

corinne bailey rae, 2006

viewing back the pictures has been hard… i bet it was for you too huh? its disgusting i know..
i had spare you as i have other more gory  snapshots of my thigh hahaha…
but thankfully,

there is still hope…

before…

and…

after.

cheers to brand new life!!

April 25, 2006- At about slightly past 11 at night, sheila when through another lesson she’ll never forget; spilled or rather poured boiling water onto her thigh (accidentally).
i literally felt the heat burning through my skin. I didn’t see it coming, i wasn’t prepared for such sheer pain, i was in shock.
Having the cold shower running down my thigh was the only thing my instincts told me to do. It didn’t help, in fact, the pain grew  worst with each minute i stood there, automatically, i started crying yet again. Seeing my left thigh in rose red and the other white was indeed a sight.
At 1147pm, i panic, rushed myself with the help Rina to the nearest 24 hours clinic.
Freakin Indian doctor with especially his two Indian girls, who I think knows NUTS about following instructions and being an administrative personnel charged me rm50 just for a tiny cream pack and some pain killers which I was allergic to (instant sore throat and mild swelling of the eye after consumption) and plus i had to wait 15mins before he arrived, and having to face their lousy attitude towards me… tolerate??  I AM IN PAIN!

April 26, 2006- this time it wasn’t red anymore… it was dark brown, you could say I "sui long" my thigh? I couldn’t wear anything over my knee, every contact with it brings agony.
continued studying.
By night fall… that was it, the ultimate thing happened, my thigh had bubbles of water coming up. It was disgusting, i couldn’t take it so i broke down in tears, seeing my body with lumps was… i can’t find the word to describe my feeling.
so now, its red on the outside, followed by dark brown and bubbles in the middle.
starting to walk weirdly.

April 27, 2006 - the pain is really getting to me, i can’t sit too long, and i can’t stand too long. At each moment my feet hits the ground, the pressure is there and it hurts; like carrying a monitor on your thigh.
I am practically limping to everywhere i go, i can’t fully bent my  left leg as the pain comes and goes.
Cleaning the wound is another agony, even with cotton pads, seeking slight contact with the skin feels like hundreds of needles are out to get you. Looking at it was worst, I’d literally break into some sort of depression and tears start following. 
Plan for my personal celebration of freedom for the next 3weeks was canceled, i can’t walk properly. its really troublesome. this SUX.

i warned you….

ahhh..alas, the strength to even sit here to type this out. I’m sure all of us have encounter this at least once in a year. Those body aches, light headiness, feeling cold, tired and sore throat… yea… I’m talking bout having your body temperature go up as high as 110 Fahrenheit! yea..that was what my doc told me.. "hmmm…quite high ar your fever". Man, i was totally HOT STuff!! Literally! hahaha.. oh gosh, the body ache was just killing me, every single part of my body was aching..not to mention the air-con blasting in college, i thought i was in a freezer…ah…not just that, i had a quiz yesterday when all these happened, not just any quiz, it was Sociology, everyone go…"OHHHHH~!!!" mm hmm.. yup yup, i was like, "God, you really gotta help me out". Oh and the quiz when OK, i think, if i could remember what i answered…*dies

here comes the interesting part, not only was i having my ‘oh so hot body’, my computer dieded on me the day before too…what was wrong with it u ask? God only knows… it wouldn’t switch on… ggrrr~

oh oh!! and and!!! my phone was outta batt coz my lovely mom (which i really mean it) accidentally took in back to Kuantan when she came down last week. And…because my ‘oh so beautiful’ Nokia 6101 is sooo new….*ahem *ahem, no one has the same charger… yes u say that ALL nokia phones use the same one…but because MY Nokia 6101 is sooo new *ahem *ahem again, the head of the plug was slightly smaller than usual…So i search high and low, up and down, left and right and did not manage to find anyone who has the same type of charger!! so my phone was Kong! Habis! Elek! Boh Sai! No More! Dead! and then i thought to myself…….I AM SO DISCONNECTED WEI !!!!! no computer = no internet, no battery = no phone, add this two up and what will you get? a lost sheep without any connection to her world…eh "her world" isn’t that the magazine? eh!

i wasn’t just a lost sheep, heres the climax of my story people!! OK…ahem, yesterday my all ’so favourite’ Sociology class ended at 6pm, i was hoping to rush back home and kong on my bed, but no….i had to take my test results and my lecturer told me "Come up to my office after this." Heres the thing, my lecture who by the way has a really nice name which I’m contemplating whether or not to name my future son has lots to keep, he’s laptop, the projector, the wires, and the answers he needs to answer the pile of students in front of him while doing so, and as you know, men can’t multi-task(its true, try asking them a question when their doing something)…so….he was slow! i was waiting outside of class, half dead, wanting to get my results. Only about 15 mins later he finally appeared out of the classroom. So i followed him, took my result, shocked at what i got but was too tired to even think twice about it and left.

As i was walking towards the bus stop, i saw no one, i panic, knowing the shuttle bus had already left, it was 6.30pm then… i sat down just to catch my breath, wanting to ask the security guard whether the bus would return, but he left too, and never came back…GRRRR~~~ i sat down there about 10 minutes hoping for the last round of the bus, but to my disappointment, it didn’t, and it was getting late, so i told myself "Sheila, WALK!"

And there i was…. feeling like a lost sheep, tired, aching and carrying my books, walking back… i kept telling myself as i was walking "Sheila, DON’T FAINT!!!"  So i walk and walk and walk…till i reached home and to my surprise, my sis’ car was parked outside of my house, she was there to take back my computer to send to fix, how she knew? i emailed her and mom using my hsemate’s comp (= smart kan? yea…so I was seriously dead than… the first word she greeted me was "Why so late one?!" I felt like giving it back to her, but i didn’t coz i knew she had the heart to turn round here to bring back my comp. So yea, i told her i walked back, and i was not feeling well, so i packed and took my stuffs back to Subang to stay over night there. 

When and see the doc, ate my porridge, took my medication, sat down on the chair for a while and i was feeling alright already…my body ache were gone..still felt light-headed but i wasn’t aching anymore…

So this morning, got up, ate and my bro send me to college, took my other quiz and came home… i looked so dead that i had to wear a cap to college… hahha..however..i still look good… so i didn’t mind… hahahah…

yea..and so… oh, did i mention when i pc was brought back to Subang, it was working again?! bit sad rite? but still, there needs to be an explanation on why my comp refuse to switch on, so…its still in Subang and I’m now using my roomie’s comp… feeling a lot better now, hopefully my fever will be gone by tomorrow and not to mention the sore throat, every time i try to swallow something it hurts!!! grrrr!!!!!! mm hhmm.. *sob *sob

*sigh………….

ah…I’m wondering when was the last time I actually took time off to update my blog… its already March and my last post was like…when? i don’t know.

Have been rather busy lately, or shall I say since the starting of Spring semester? not that I’m free right now, i actually need to finish my Intercultural Communication presentation, and then again, since its been so long since ive wrote anything here, i’d rather do something about this..teehee~

Life has been good, besides being really worried practically every single day about my work, all is good. But i do miss going to jazz gigs round town… my last one was like…what..? half a year ago? sheesh, some jazz lover i am… sadening… i missed it la..i wanna go, i wanna go, i wanna go!! wanna find time someday and ask miss jojobling and tsemei to join me…kay kayz? people?!! heheh… Wanna get some of Greg Lyons, Julian Chan, some double bass guy whose name i can’t remember in my ears man…grrr~ oh..not forgetting cute hunks to the eyes too..hahahahah…

ok…im satisfied now, atleast its been updated… so yea.. jo, tsemei, find one day kayz???!!! YESH!!

i was kinda asked to do this by pl…so yea..here goes

#1: name 8 weird or random things about yourself
1. i laugh like a puppy, some refer it as asthmatic.
2. i have hairy arms, no, they’re not curly, just more obvious then some would think…oh, and I’m proud of it yea.. *wink

3. i have only one double eye-lit and the other single (no one notices)
4. i only have one dimple.
5. i cry a lot, happy or sad.
6. i live to eat, not i eat to live (=
7. i panic every time i have to take the public bus alone.
8. currently…i seem to be labeled as teacher’s pet cause the "all so great and mighty" Abraham uses me as his example almost all the time during class!!! *faints and *dies (why? you ask…ask him)

#2: 5 people whom i want to do the quiz
*anyone who feels like doing this….seriously…

#3: leave a comment here…thanks

YOU’RE EVERYTHING
I COULD WANT
THAT I COULD NEED
IF I COULD SEE
YOU WANT ME
COULD I BELIEVE

‘CAUSE YOU’RE PERFECTLY
ALL I WANT
AND ALL I NEED
IF I COULD JUST
FEEL YOUR TOUCH
COULD I BE FREE

WHY DO YOU SHINE SO?
CAN A BLIND MAN SEE?
WHY DO YOU CALL?
WHY DO YOU BECKON ME?
CAN THE DEAF HEAR
THE VOICE OF LOVE?
WOULD YOU HAVE ME COME?
CAN THE CRIPPLE RUN?
ARE YOU THE ONE?

TO RAISE ME UP FROM THIS GRAVE
TOUCH MY TONGUE AND THEN I’LL SING
HEAL MY LIMBS THEN JOYFULLY I’LL RUN TO YOU

YOU’RE EVERYTHING
I COULD WANT
THAT I COULD NEED
AND I CAN JUST
FEEL YOUR TOUCH
AND I CAN’T BREATHE

LOOK HOW YOU SHINE SO
THE BLIND CAN SEE
AND HOW YOU BECKON ME
THE DEAF HEAR
THE VOICE OF LOVE
YOU BID ME COME
AND THE CRIPPLE RUN
YOU’RE THE ONE

‘CAUSE YOU’RE EVERYTHING

AND I’M ALIVE AND I’LL SING
AND I’M ALIVE AND I’M FREE…
= =

David Crowder * Band
Can You Hear Us?

*thank you Father for Your word